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Thursday, September 28, 2023

What to Do When You’re Feeling ‘Touched Out’ As a Parent

If the nonstop feeling of little hands is putting you on edge, here are some survival strategies.

ByRachel Fairbank

PublishedSeptember 8, 2023

toddler clinging to parent's leg

Photo: Anna Om (Shutterstock)

The early parenting years are a full-contact sport—and the chaotic mix of sleepless nights, tantrums, and physical neediness can often lead to parents feeling “touched out.” From the intensely physical experience of breastfeeding to just generally being seen as a personal jungle gym for your toddler or preschooler, parenting little kids can make it feel as though your body is no longer your own.

“Everyone has very different tolerances for physical touch,” said Mary Ann

Covey, a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks. “Some people are huggers; some aren’t.” Becoming a parent doesn’t change this tolerance for touch, so the physicality of raising small children can often send a parent into a sensory overload.

Feeling “touched out” is a common experience


Although the feeling of being touched out as a parent isn’t talked about very often, it’s very common. Given how different children (and parents) can be when it comes to touch, this can also leave a lot of parents feeling alone. “It varies so much based on the child,” Covey said. “Some children are very touchy and others aren’t, so then other mothers can’t identify—and not only can they not identify, they want what you have.”

However, it’s common enough that Jessica Rohr, a psychologist at Houston Methodist Hospital who specializes in maternal mental health, sees it on a weekly basis in her practice. As Rohr notes, feeling touched out often derives from a number of social and biological factors. “First, there’s a biological component,” Rohr said. “When babies are young, we release oxytocin when we’re near our babies. This is an evolutionary holdover, so we didn’t leave them in a cave. However, it makes us feel bad when we’re away from them.”

As Rohr notes, the second factor is social. “In Western society, there is an emphasis on what is called intensive parenting, which is the idea that a parent, especially mom, needs to give everything of herself, become consumed by her children, her time, her energy, her body,” Rohr said. “There is definitely this emphasis on the idea that your baby needs to have access to your body, and if you don’t do that, you are a bad mom.”

How to cope with feeling touched out 


For Rohr’s patients who are feeling touched out, she tends to focus on two main strategies for making the situation more manageable. The first priority is to find a way to get the partner on board, so they understand what is going on, and how to help. In her experience, being touched out can often cause tension in a marriage. “What we’re seeing is partners, usually male partners, getting frustrated because he wants to start having sex again, he wants to cuddle mom, he wants to hold her hand, and that’s one place where she feels comfortable saying ‘no, please do not touch me, I’m feeling repulsed by that right now,’” Rohr said. “That can lead to some strain in the marriage.”

Once a partner understands what is happening, then it can help to team up, so one parent can provide attention to a child, while the other parent gets a break from all of the physical contact. If a child tends to cling to one parent, then dividing up the time can also help encourage them to spend additional time with the second parent.

The second priority is to teach children about the importance of bodily autonomy, which extends both ways. Just as a child shouldn’t be expected to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to, they also need to learn that there are times when their parents need physical space. “This is a really important skill to demonstrate to them, and to model for them, that in a loving relationship, you do not have to have access to someone else’s body, for them to prove to you that they love you,” Rohr said. “This is a really important thing that our children need to learn.”

One strategy that Rohr finds effective is to phrase the request in terms of “Mommy’s body needs some space,” as a way of letting a child know that although there is a need for space, it’s about the physical touching, rather than a blend of the physical and emotional.


Do you really need 10,000 steps a day? Study reveals how many to live longer

 If you’re not meeting your goal of 10,000 steps per day, don’t sweat it.

The number of steps a person needs to walk every day in order to see health benefits is lower than previously thought, new research suggests.

The study, published Wednesday in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, found that at least 3,967 steps a day reduced the risk of dying from any cause, while 2,337 steps a day reduced the risk of dying from cardiovascular diseases.

“Our analysis indicates that as little as 4,000 steps a day are needed to significantly reduce deaths from any cause, and even fewer to reduce deaths from cardiovascular disease,” lead author Maciej Banach, professor of cardiology at the Medical University of Lodz and adjunct professor at the Johns Hopkins Ciccarone Center for the Prevention of Cardiovascular Disease, said in a release.

Researchers analyzed 226,889 people from 17 different studies around the globe, making this the world’s largest study to investigate the matter.

This analysis is the first to assess the effect of walking up to 20,000 daily steps, as well as looking at potential contributing factors such as age, sex or living location.

However, the analysis found that — despite needing just under 4,000 steps to reap advantages — the more you walk, the greater the health benefits.

The number of steps a person needs to walk every day in order to see health benefits is lower than previously thought, a new study suggests.
Getty Images

With every 500 to 1,000 extra steps taken, the risk of death decreases significantly. A 1,000-step increase was linked with a 15% decrease in the risk of dying from any cause, and a 500-step increase was linked with a 7% reduction in fatal cardiovascular disease.

“Until now, it’s not been clear what is the optimal number of steps, both in terms of the cut-off points over which we can start to see health benefits, and the upper limit, if any, and the role this plays in people’s health,” Dr. Ibadete Bytyçi, from the University Clinical Centre of Kosovo in Pristina and senior author of the paper, said.

The health benefits continue to increase the more you walk, although researchers have yet to find the ceiling limit.

People aged 60 or older had a smaller decrease in death compared to those younger than 60. For other adults, there was a 42% decrease in risk of death for those who walked between 6,000 and 10,000 steps a day and a 49% reduction for younger adults who walked between 7,000 and 13,000 steps a day.

“Our study confirms that the more you walk, the better,” Banach said. “We found that this applied to both men and women, irrespective of age, and irrespective of whether you live in a temperate, subtropical or sub-polar region of the world, or a region with a mixture of climates.”

Studies have provided strong evidence that living a sedentary lifestyle could lead to a greater risk of cardiovascular disease and a shorter life. Research has revealed that more than a quarter of the world’s population is affected by insufficient physical activity, with more men than women and more people in higher-income countries compared to low-income countries not getting enough.

According to the World Health Organization, insufficient physical activity is the fourth leading risk factor for death. About 3.2 million deaths every year are due to not enough physical activity.

“In a world where we have more and more advanced drugs to target specific conditions such as cardiovascular disease, I believe we should always emphasize that lifestyle changes, including diet and exercise, which was a main hero of our analysis, might be at least as, or even more effective in reducing cardiovascular risk and prolonging lives,” Banach said.

The health benefits continue to increase the more you walk, although researchers have yet to find the ceiling limit.
Getty Images

Physical activity levels also majorly decreased while people were mostly sitting at home at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and they still haven’t gotten that number back to where it was.

A study earlier this year published in JAMA Network Open looked at steps taken by nearly 5,500 participants and found that steps counted between Jan. 1, 2018, through Jan. 31, 2020, were considered pre-COVID, while steps after that date through the end of 2021 were considered post-COVID.

However, the researchers noted that further studies would need to be done with a larger pool of subjects in order to get more data on higher daily step counts.

“I should emphasize that there were limited data available on step counts up to 20,000 a day, and so these results need to be confirmed in larger groups of people,” Bytyçi said.

“We still need good studies to investigate whether these benefits may exist for intensive types of exertion, such as marathon running and Ironman challenges, and in different populations of different ages, and with different associated health problems,” Banach added. “However, it seems that, as with pharmacological treatments, we should always think about personalizing lifestyle changes.”

This analysis is the first to assess the effect of walking up to 20,000 daily steps, as well as looking at potential contributing factors such as age, sex or living location.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

study from May published in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology suggested that eating five pieces of fruits and vegetables every day can be as beneficial to your physical fitness as taking 4,000 steps.

This number of just slightly less than 4,000 steps is lower than what people are used to seeing as a goal.

September 2022 study found that 10,000 steps every day might help reduce the risk of death from cardiovascular disease, cancer and death from any cause.

That magical number of steps has been linked to a wide variety of health benefits, such as weight loss and lowered risks of cancer, dementia and heart disease — but it turns out to be a myth stemming from no research or evidence.

Friday, September 15, 2023

Telemedicine Therapy - The Wave of the Future

 Video Counseling—Work with a Counselor or Therapist by Video

Online counseling is similar to in-person therapy, only instead of meeting with a therapist in-person, you meet with them via virtual means!  Video counseling improves accessibility, provides flexible scheduling options, and guarantees comfort. If you find these benefits appealing, online counseling might be a great counseling option for you. All you need is a reliable internet connection, a device such as a smartphone, laptop, or tablet, and a safe space to talk. Then, you’re all set to begin video counseling and experience its many benefits.


What Is Video Counseling?

Video counseling is a form of online counseling that allows you to work with a counselor or therapist in a virtual video environment! If you’re looking for mental health services, be it for yourself or your relationship, Omniphasic can provide you with treatment via video chat. There are other forms of online counseling too, such as telephone counseling. Telephone counseling involves working with a counselor by phone and is also an effective treatment option.


Video counseling provides clients with a comfortable and convenient experience. It removes uncertain and outright frustrating factors from the equation, such as a long commute time or traffic. You don’t have to worry about commuting to and from your appointment because you get to attend your session right from home. You can set your computer (or another device) up wherever you feel most comfortable. This is appealing to many people looking for mental health services, but it can prove especially beneficial to those who…


1. Don’t have time to commute to an office for their appointment(s)

2. Would prefer to work with a counselor from home

3. Can’t find a qualified counselor or therapist with the right skills nearby

If you are currently on a search for online counseling services, know that Omniphasic has counselors who provide video counseling (and telephone counseling, for that matter). Or, if you prefer in-person counseling or simply want to know that you have that option too, we can accommodate that need as well.


How Does Video Counseling Work?


If you do decide to explore video counseling, your Omniphasic counselor, therapist, or psychologist will send you a secure link to a private video chatroom. This chatroom is much like those you’ve probably used to have video calls with your friends! You will receive this link well in advance and then at the time of your appointment, you will click it to gain entry to your videoconference. Your counselor will meet you there.


In telephone counseling, you simply answer your provider’s call at the time of your appointment. If you value the face-to-face interaction that is characteristic of in-person therapy sessions, video counseling might be the superior online counseling option for you!


Omniphasic has been providing our clients with online counseling services, including both video counseling and telephone counseling, since the year 2020. We know that online counseling services are valuable, as they provide people with a solution to many of the obstacles they run into in receiving counseling. For example, they might struggle to find a counselor nearby who offers the exact service they’re looking for; others don’t have time in their schedule for commuting to and from another appointment. The good news is that online counseling allows people to find a therapist with the skills, training, and experience they’re looking for. It also enables those with busy schedules to attend an appointment from home.

What Are the Benefits of Video Counseling?


If you’ve never heard about or considered the idea of video counseling, you might be wondering, “Why do people choose video counseling over in-person therapy?” There are many benefits to video counseling, some of which are shared with telephone counseling and others that are specific to video conference sessions! We’ll delve into them below:


Accessibility: Video counseling enables you to meet with your counselor or therapist from home. This means optimal accessibility. You don’t have to worry about driving into the city, sitting in traffic, or commuting at all. You can literally attend your counseling appointments right at home, thanks to modern-day technology. A laptop, phone, tablet, or another device will allow you to join your virtual video conference. Just make sure you have an internet connection!


Reliability: As we just mentioned, make sure you have an internet connection. As long as you have an internet connection, you can rely on having your video counseling session. Unfortunately, sometimes with in-person counseling, certain external factors get in the way. For example, sitting in traffic can cause us to be late for an appointment and force us to reschedule. But you don’t have to worry about many of these external factors when it comes to video counseling.


Comfort: We keep reiterating a main perk of video counseling (and online counseling in general): the fact that you can attend your session from home. Why do we keep highlighting this perk? Because it means ultimate convenience and comfort. You can attend comfortably from your couch, seated at your dining room table, even from the cozy warmth of your bed. We don’t care. We want you to feel as comfortable as possible. As long as you are in a safe, quiet space that allows you to complete important work with your counselor, we are all for it.


Flexibility: In addition to the above benefits, video counseling also offers optimal flexibility in scheduling your appointment. Often, when we schedule an appointment at a doctor’s office, we have to wait weeks or even months to see the doctor. But with video counseling at Omniphasic, as well as telephone counseling, you can often meet with your therapist within a couple of days if not 24 hours.


Efficacy: To round out our list, video counseling is also an extremely effective approach to counseling. Several studies have shown that video counseling and other forms of online counseling are just as effective as in-person counseling. In fact, some people find video counseling to be more effective for them than in-person counseling. Often, these individuals struggle to open up when they’re in close proximity to their therapist. But thanks to the online medium, they are able to open up in video counseling and make valuable progress with their therapist.


In addition to the above, video counseling still allows you to have that face-to-face interaction with your therapist. This is the main difference between video counseling and phone counseling. If you value that face-to-face correspondence and prefer to have that in your online sessions, video counseling is likely the right online counseling option for you.

Schedule Video Counseling at Omniphasic


We set a high standard for our providers and only partner with the best of the best: those who have the skills, training, and experience to provide you with the high-quality care that you deserve. We’re confident that your counselor, therapist, life coach, or psychologist will provide you with this excellent care and in turn help you live a happier, more successful life.

If you’re interested in video counseling, consider scheduling an appointment at Omniphasic. Again, to get started with video counseling you’ll need to ensure that you have reliable internet connection, as well as a comfortable, safe space for you to talk with your counselor (preferably one where you won’t be easily distracted). If you can check those boxes, then you are ready to begin!


To schedule your video counseling appointment, 210-281-1585 or on our Facebook or LinkedInpage. You can then view our counselor and her bio, which lists her skills, specialties, and experience. We look forward to the chance to meet you via video!


Monday, January 23, 2012

The Golden Hammer

"It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail." - Abraham Maslow, The Psychology of Science, 1966.

The above quote (called "The Golden Hammer", "Maslow's hammer", or "the law of the instrument") is a reminder to us to not rely on the same solution for different problems.

A number of referring counselors, in our experience, choose one type of assessment over another for their clients and consumers. While there is some overlap, it might be worth an explanation of what is different in each process, and why there can (and should) be different results of each. That way, counselors and job seekers can know what they should expect as some best practices.

Psychological Assessments

When selecting a psychological assessment, a counselor should be looking to see if there are any serious complications that would disrupt an individual's abilities or mental capacities (otherwise known as a diagnosis). While it can be used to measure a basic reading and math level and to obtain an IQ score, these generally are not very detailed and are secondary to the determination of a diagnosis.

A job seeker should expect, under ideal conditions, to spend at least a few hours with a testing professional conducting academic and non-verbal activities, including some motor and personality tests. They should also expect to spend enough time for a full conversation with a psychologist of PhD level or above. If this has not occurred by the end of activities, then there is a breakdown in the process. In some cases, an accurate diagnosis can take a bit longer, extending across more than one day. The question that should be answered is "Is there a (mental) problem to proceeding further in the process?".

Vocational Assessments

When the impact of a diagnosis is preferred, a counselor might choose a vocational assessment. While the process generally takes longer (as long as several days), the information can be as or more helpful in a job search. Such an assessment can be as simple as "Can this individual do the job of a typist?", or as complex as "What jobs would be a good fit for this individual, and how can we as a team make those jobs a lasting career?". A set of standards and questions asked by the counselor ensure that a complete picture is created of an individual and his or her skills and interests. It does not include a diagnosis, but can include any newly discovered information or observations that the evaluator finds during the process.

Here, a job seeker should expect to work with one or more team members and, under ideal conditions, to interact with a group of evaluees in a similar situation. They should expect a discussion with the evaluator about what goals they have and might wish to explore at some point in the process; this may take place once some of the results of activities are available, so that the best possible options can be determined.

Some good questions to be answered by the final report are "How should we proceed further in the process?" and "What can make the process successful or better for everyone involved?".

Doing one's best

Whichever assessment an evaluee participates in, they should try to make the best effort towards their activities. Performing at less than their potential eliminates good opportunities at the top of the scale. The results help to determine the best path for an evaluee.